Winter Vacation:D&B

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE COMPLETE DWAYNES EXPERIENCE:http://photobucket.com/dwaynesparty

This my ANTI DRUG.

TODAY:

photo:illimeter.com

TOMORROW

photo:skankymc.com

I show this to all my PATIENTS.

DEAR SECRET:

BRING THESE MEN TO DONKEY HOE DAY.

Yeah...pretty much.

Ive been waiting....for a book like you.



THE HUNK AND THE VIRGIN HAHAHAHAHHA.

required reading.

IT WORKS.

Read. Discuss.

Everyone wants to be cool....

hah

TAKE A LOOK ITS IN A BOOK!

I DECIDED I AM DEDICATING THIS ONLINE JOURNAL TO BE MY BOOK BLOG.

ITS ALL ABOUT READING....with a purpose.

GRRR

I am allergic to PEANUTS and LATEX. That is why my hands and face have been rash covered and PEELING OFF.

Dayum I love some PEANUT BUTTUH. Thai peanut noodles, peanut butter sundae, peanut butter sandwich! peanut sauce covered everything! WHY!  AND LATEX...NO MEDICAL GLOVE HAS THAT NATURAL FEELING OF LATEX THE GREATEST RUBBER OF OUR TIME! The only thing that makes life easier than latex is cotton! 

I am starting to not be able to cope with this reality. 

I had an amazing RAINBOW adventure on friday night, I went to atlas to meet cali, with a pencil skirt on. The slit in the pencil skirt was initially about an inch long but during my car ride that slit went all the way to the BUTT CHEEKS. AHCK.

SO.... then i was like, "Cali we can not go to dinner....and we can not go out for any activities!".....But she was like..." go to RAINBOW " So we walked several blocks in the shady side of  NE DC to rainbow with my ass being covered by a purse. A hispanic lady yelled at me about having a purse in my ass and some men BARKED AND BARKED AND BARKED. It was so disturbing.  So.... i got an ugly skirt that was three times to big and looked like a FOOOOL. I was at least hoping they had sexy glitter butt print shorts but they SOLD OUT! 

"DAYUM WHAT IS THAT GIRL ON???"

"ANGEEEEEEERRRRRR"

That girl Shop at Rainbow.

I am quite pleased to have all these intense Skankayyy waldorfians on my side. Willing to street fight fifty year old Rastafarians Who have fake colored contacts and wedding rings. Willing to stand against being the Old Turkey thanksgiving leftovers that a bama reused for christmas dinner...Or the haloween candy that a "broke Mug" put in his kids easter basket. Willing to throw a damn fools ed hardy hat in the street. And grind stick shifts. Boobs that float at kings dominion splash island ...And most of all Willing to wear shorts that expose some full on ASS CHEEX.

UHHHhhh....

DEAR RANDI,

Whatever I said, whatever I did I didnt mean it!!!!!
I just want you back for good
Whenever Im wrong just tell me the song and Ill sing it!
Youll be right and understood!!!!!!

WANT YOU BACK!

WANT YOU BACK!

YES I WANT YOU BACK FO GOOOOOOOOOOOOD!

Cartoon All stars to the rescue

I took a nap and was having flashbacks of this hahha.



Thank god for mcdonalds and garfield and such for keepin Me off drugs for life.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cartoon_All-Stars_to_the_Rescue

I'm on Top of Pride Rock

AND THIS COULD ALL BE MINE!!!
AND THIS CAN NOT BE MINE!
This is basically me in the future. Power couple WHOA.

ITS A TRAP!!

Do people think I am stupid or something! AH HA. They dont realize how much I have in common with The Admiral Ackbar.




I always know when something is a trap. I can call it. The whole scene just starts playin in my head.

AND THAT...FRANKLY WILL NOT FLY

Desirea and I were in the car yesterday remembering how we used to imagine that the death cab for cutie/ Postal service singer is ACTUALLY BIG BIRD. And we cant hear those songs without breaking into an image of big bird singing even five years after the thought....

Brokeback AL

I CAYYYYYNT QUITTT Yewwwwwwwwwww....

ALEX VS. SOFIA

THIS IS A PERFECT REPRESENTATION ON HOW ONLY ONE THING HAS COME IN BETWEEN OUR FRIENDSHIP. A MAN. A SMART MAN. A RUDE MAN.

!!!!BUSTIN!!!!! IN THE MOVIE LIKE WHERE MAH BOYFRIEND...OH NO OH NO NO SHE DID NOT.

p.s. luh everything jay say jay does, tattood on yr arm you heard?




IN THE END SHE CARRIED HIS ASS. WHY? CUZ SHE LEARNED FROM THE BEST.

OMFG check the arm candy.

Ahh Me n Danielle back in October.

Ah me, with my hairstylist amy on my right and Best homie cherie Penny on my left a while back.

SOFIA IN THE FUTURE

PLEASE LORD GIVE ME THE Number of a good therapist.

Make Peace.

Hi.

This man....... Had me on mind control at a young age. HE IS TO BLAME FOR EVERYTHING.

I HOID it thru the grapevine

Last nights Shorts party was my favorite shorts party because i was wearing purple shorts and some random thugs showed up and was all like "YO GIRL LOOKIN LIKE A CALIFORNIA RAISIN GIRL, LOOKIN LIKE A CALIFORNIA RAISIN." I was like "HOLD UP HOLD UP!" All night they were chanting at me "GO RAISIN! GO RAISIN! GO GO GO RAISIN! "

And now that I see this........THEY ON POINT!!!!!

Hmm I just got home from work and its such a lovely carefree afternoon, HOW BOUT SOME CCR!!!!

WWJ(P)D????

I am totally over my phase of having a passive aggressive attitude to people who are acting a fool, more and more I just ask myself What would JOE PESCI DO?!!!, i gotta freakin hold myself back from sticking heads in toilets. IMMAUH TELLIN' YA!

TEAR DA CLUB UP

Jumpin in and out the bed with caraffes of cranberry juice.

MY THEME SONG

VOO DOO LADAYYYYYYYyyy

GAMMMMMMME OVERRRRR!!!

No sir, I dont like it.

OKAY. WHAT UP WITH THIS.

Last Month: car stolen yadda yadda yadda

Last thursday: thunderstorm...killed desktop computer, forget the fact that it was attached to a surge protector.

This thursday: My phone which was only a month old, well a month plus two days, Screen Spontaneously combusts, Bring it in, oh it was a couple days over thirty so you have to buy a new one. PFFT.

TODAY: my ipod will not turn on.


I'm about to lose my mind. Straight up.

WHY WONT THE WORLD JUST LET ME KEEP MY GADGETS. PLEASE!




EDIT:

When My ipod died today I got in a depressed mood, i thought of how with the money it would take to buy a new one i could have a new pair of jeans, or a thigh master or something really cool and i did not know what I did to deserve such punishment, maybe it was because I quit my job and father L.Ron was deciding to curse all of my possessions. And everytime he cursed my things i would laugh, HAHA MY PHONE Spontaneously combusted, HAHA I DONT CARE I HAVE MORE MONEY TO BUY MORE PHONES AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT THINGS HAHAHA. but this had just gone too far. I went to best buy to buy a new one, they told me IT IS DEADDDD! I was like bullllshitttt SO i called apple and their recording told me how to give an Ipod cardiopulmonary resuscitation and it worked. and when the little apple flashed on the screen

I SCREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMED a blood curdling scream and I got this feeling like my whole body was tingling all over. It was the best feeling anyone could ever feel.

EWE BAYBEH. I FEEEL LIKE

I think I am needing to look for a boyfriend in the coming months to buy gear for from bahnnees, to take me out of this ADHDG life and put me in the kitchen to bake cupcakes, to eat indian food with, to do laundry with because i love laundry, to go to kings dominion with, to make miscellaneous holiday cards for, to tug on and drag around saying HI HI HI THIS IS MY BOYYYYYYYFRIENDDDDDDDDDDD.

BUT IN THE MEANTIME:

If a girl is grinding on you or touching you well maybe thats some way of flirting or something (no can do.)

If a girl is Near you and not touching you and doing moves such as the wonderful "THROW A ROCK AND KICK IT"(thankyou for this one cali) or a staggering version of a russian folk dance, WELL DUH THAT GIRL IS NOT THINKING ABOUT FLIRTING WITH YOU THE GIRL IS THINKING ABOUT HOW FUN WORKING OFF EMPTY CALORIES IS BY RUSSIAN FOLK DANCING.


Duhhhhhh.

Also in the meantime, setting up lawnchairs in front of palace five with Alexandra and hollering at girls on bikes, HEY BIKEEEE, because you know, you learn from the best.

MADE JA LOOK

The presets got cancelled. WOMP WOMP WOMP.






True champions have Mercury fillings.



THOSE SNEAKIES better take it outside!


It is all okay. There is a good series of amazing-ness ALL MONTH. NUMBER ONE PRIORITY: SNEAKIES IN THE CLUB, And mattandkim/dandeacon/deathset and oh my gawd club five haha AND MUCH MORE!!

I better run to GNC to get a bulk load of stackers for us to handle things.




OH MY GOD. I have developed this AWFUL habit of SHOUTING BECAUSE I SOLD MY SOUL TO MATTHEW LESKO...for FREEEEE MONAYYYYY.

Oh lorrrd

Hes a MANNNN OF OUR TIMESS!!!!!

STUD.


STACKED


GROWS MUSCLE LIKE A MOTHA


BUT SO SNEAKAYYYYYYY

People, let me tell ya bout my BEST FRIEND

We were bitches who demanded Chuck e. Cheese like every sunday. And we would wear stupid colorful animal print sweaters. And we would play captain planet and I had to be the minority boy "HEART" because i had freaking short hair.




But...sadly I see where she is coming from..eh?

3 more weeks till the jerk of my life comes to visit. And I cant wait!

Tell me the last time that you smiled

I went to my grandma's house today. She has this photo in a frame on her dresser. Lets see...Me on a visit to the dentists office looking really straight PISSED. Check that brow miss, you dont even know what awaits your future!